(I figured that this would be an appropriate first post for this blog considering I chose the name Slut Science)
What slut shaming is, if you don’t already know, is shaming women for their promiscuity and desire to have sex with however many people they desire. Other definitions or forms of slut shaming can manifest in shaming women for their dressing / judging a woman’s sexual behaviour based on her dressing / shaming women for not looking sexual enough.
What this post will address is the sexual double standard which is the concept where women are judged more harshly than men for similar sexual behaviours. A lot of research have found that women are perceived more negatively when they engage in the same amount of casual sex as men. Additionally, men enjoy more freedom in their “moral positioning” when they engage in casual sex, and this behaviour is even celebrated among male friends. While feminism has been on the rise and people have grown more aware of sexual equality, there is still much room for improvement when you can still see men writing derogatory posts about women who either “look like they have a lot of sex” or are comfortable with their sexuality and have as much sex as they want. What is most disturbing is the fact that any woman who wears clothes that doesn’t cover her knees or midriff or shoulders suddenly becomes someone who could be sexually promiscuous, which is problematic in itself.
- Women should have the freedom to be as “sexually promiscuous” as they would like to be without getting shit from people around them, especially when men are not judged on the same grounds.
- Women who do not dress conservatively should not be labelled as “sluts” or “whores” or be associated with sexual promiscuity – for fucks sake, Singapore is hot as hell and most of us would wear just our underwear out if it were socially acceptable.
- Women who are comfortable with their sexuality and bask in the glory of casual sex and orgasms should not be shamed for their sexual behaviour, especially when gahmen say people need to have sex more.
Technology and society have advanced to the point of having apps designed specifically for dating and hookups, but our opinions remain in a state of non-acceptance of that reality. Suddenly online hookups are normal and as a result, women are more open about their sexuality than before. Despite these changes, the patriarchal society we live in allows men to shame women just for having a sex drive. What is most ironic about slut shaming is the fact that (some) men want to have lots of sex with lots of women – but where the fuck are these women going to come from if every woman should be conservative and preserving of their virginity? What makes things worse is that the media often portrays women in a negative light if they are promiscuous, while men get glorified for sleeping with as many women as they want. (I suppose society reflects what’s in the media, and vice versa, which is why we need sex positivity and feminism in this day.)
Another issue I’d like to address here is the fact that women are slut shamed by fellow women. This seems to stem from our extremely conservative Asian values, and a lot of internalised misogyny among women in our society. While most of the younger women already wake up their idea and have stayed woke with regards to the issues our patriarchal society lays on women here, many still remain in a state of non-acceptance of being open about their sexuality or in the existence of female orgasms. It is extremely problematic when women bring other women down for being who they are or for being open about themselves as people. The editor of this blog and I have both experienced this first hand, and it is disappointing to get slut-shamed by people that you thought you could talk to about sex. Most of the time, the intention to “slut-shame” may not be present in friends, but the attitudes and responses towards sex can make individuals (women) feel shamed for being open about their sexual preferences and drive. The term ‘slut-shaming’ is very general, but it can manifest in various ways. Even a seemingly innocuous comment such as “wah you sleep around so much?!” can indicate a lack of understanding and acceptance towards human sexuality, specifically, women’s sex drives. This lack of understanding of the sexuality of women seems to stem from ignorance of what human sexuality is and the science behind sex (or maybe just sex in general), which is why I made this blog – to educate and to be a platform for open conversations about sex.